i fell

So as you can see, I haven't exactly posted a blog in about 5 months. It's been a while. I feel like no one reads these, but that's ok. I like writing them because sometimes I just need to write out how I feel. Doing that is easier than talking to someone about it to me. I feel like I have to explain how I feel differently to people because each and every person interprets things a different way. Then I just feel like it's more of a battle to explain than a venting process. That's why I like to talk to my best friend Beckah because I don't have to elaborate or anything, she just knows how I feel. I'm sorry if you feel insulted or something, I'm not trying to insult anyone or put anyone down. I'm just writing out how I feel. I feel frustrated that me and Beckah haven't hung out for 3 months almost. I feel angry with myself that I can't control my actions around certain people. I feel convicted in my relationship with God because I'm not giving Him my whole life and trusting Him. I feel like I've turned towards the worldly desires of the world and forgotten the whole reason I started to love someone. I feel broken inside.